Monday, January 25, 2016


Well, tomorrow is the day again.   Off to Enid for my second chemo treatment.   I have felt so "normal" the past week that I so dread going back.   However, I know it is what I must do to kill off this cancer that wants to suck the life from me.  

Yesterday at church, our pastor preached from Isaiah 41.   In it, God is telling the Israelites not to fear.   HE will uphold them with His righteous right hand. (v. 10).   I am clinging to that.   The point was made that our fear says something about who we think God is.   I believe God is bigger than any treatment, any cancer, any side effect I may have.   I want so badly to cling to that this week and not fall back on my pity, especially when I don't feel well physically.  

If you are reading, please pray that I will stand firm knowing that God is upholding me with His right hand.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

What a year

Well, after good intentions, my last blog restart never got off the ground.   Because of medical reasons, I have a little more time on my hands so hope to get more done on here!

The past few months have been a whirlwind.   In November, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.   I had a mastectomy in December and they also removed my lymph nodes on the right side.   I had cancer in one of the lymph nodes.  So fast forward to January and I have started my 16 weeks of chemo treatments.   I go every other week for 8 treatments.   This is my off week and I am feeling pretty good but I'm not gonna lie---last week was not fun.  

However, through this, I have learned a few things that I want to hold onto to get me through when times are bad.

1.  My husband is the true definition of a man.   Confession--I already knew this.  But the past few months he has been strong yet tender, unwaiveringing yet kind.   I honestly could not do this without him.

2.  My kids are pretty awesome.   Neither one of them has hit the terrible teenage years yet.   They do what they are asked, still enjoy hanging out with mom and dad.   But they have gone above and beyond to love me and Steven and to do whatever we need done.

3.   I have amazing friends.   From bringing me meals to uplifting texts to sharing Scripture/song to Facetiming me during church so I can hear the sermon.   God has placed amazing people in my life.  

4.   God is good.  Always.   He is my sustainer.   There have been times I have felt far from Him and I'm sure I will go through more valleys.  But I am clinging to His promise from Romans 8:28.  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."   Even when I feel far away, He is there--always working, always loving, always shepherding me.

I don't know what the next few months hold for me but I hope to hold onto these truths to get me through.